time passes by really quick, don’t you think? I can’t believe its October already.
I’ve got my tongue in this whole tied-up situation, so hell, I dunno what to write.
I’m going to NZ again in December. This time we’re staying for 20 days.
I suspect I have a mild case of hyperhidrosis. Excessive sweating. Don’t sweat it, I’m pretty grossed out myself.
But just you let me walk for 5 minutes, and I’ll be drenched. Okay, maybe not 5. 10 mins tops. And, NO, I am not overweight.
The Olimpiad time was a big whopsy. Here’s how I spent my 2 and a half hours of it:
1st hour: Chose a seat between Vini and Dayah. Eyeballs accidentally popped out at the sight of the questions. After gaping at it for quite some time, I stuufed my eyes back in again to get to work.
3/2 hours : Head already lolling on shoulders, my pencil swaying to and fro in my lifeless hands, A normal thing for me during an exam. Even a faint snore can be heard if one listens carefully.
7/4 hours : Woke up with a start, grabbed the pencil and started brainstorming again, rather hopelessly.
9/4 hours: already staring at everyone else across the hall, silently hating myself for ever wanting to join this bloody competition.
As you can see, the whole thing was a huge letdown. Thank God, the results come out next year. I’ll be out of school already and I won’t give a damn.
I coloured my toenails this morning. Now they are a beautiful lavish red. Mmm…
Ah…now that exams are over, I can finally write for real.
I’m gonna try to remember what we did in NZ. The first day was spent in Auckland. Brr…it was cold! The next day, we headed to Rotorua. It was a 2-hour drive. But before that, we had seafood chowder for lunch at Copthorne. That was the most TERRIFIC chowder I’ve had for such a along time. Then I ate my first creme brulee (its sad, I know).
Since daytime was short in winter, it was dark already by 5 pm, we arrived in Rotorua with just a few minutes to spare for Zohor and Asar. We didn’t even wait for the bellboy, we dragged our bags up ourselves. And would you believe it, we stayed in a suite? It was breathtakingly gorgeous. And huge, I might add. That night, we took a drive around Rotorua. Mum said its a tourist town. The place is simply beautiful, Ate at an Indian restaurant, which they claimed was halal, but we found out much later on, that it wasn’t. =( Bought a few souvenirs at a shop called Koha.
The next day, we went to the Gondola Skyline Skyrides and had a go at the luges. Ok, this part was exceptionally fun. I drove by myself and had a swell time. Then we went to Agrodome, had a farm tour, tasted Kiwifruit and a new fruit called Feijoa. Saw some sheep, a few alpakas, llamas, etc.
The next day, we headed for Taupo, This time we really did miss our solat and had to qada’ it. We stayed at a chalet. When we arrived, a man wearing glasses opened the door. He introduced himself as Emil, we shook hands then he proceeded ti showing us our rooms, The house was BEAUTIFUL! Its a sorta Eng-style and don’t even get me started on the rooms. Mum and Dad’s had a Jacuzzi. The toilet floor was warmed, which I think is very comfortable during winter.
Before we went out that night, I went to the front and was greeted by Hea Min, a Korean wife to Emil. Emil insisted on showing me and Farah the kitchen and the pantry. Oh, how I wish we had a pantry too, It’d be kinda cool, That night, when we returned to the chalet, Hea Min made hot choc for me and Farah, and coffee for Mum and Dad. The grown ups talked while I sat there stuffing my face. I can’t help it , Hea Min’s cookies are just too good..
The next morning, we woke up to see the trees putside are covered with frost. Hea Min showed us the garden, she taught me how to say hello in German, which my friend Fadhil already taught me.
Guten Morgen.
We took pics with them. I plan to send them a postcard one day. Greetings from Msia or something tacky like that.
You know, I’m really sad when we had to leave and go back to Msia. It was a wonderful holiday, one I’m sure to remember. And it gets worse because I had to go back to school the next day. I miss Mum and Dad. The piano. The pool. Sisters, bro-in-law, nephew. Muffin and Cocoa. Jeans. Crocs. Cars. Games. Computer. Did I mention the piano?
Anyway, the exams went well. Azwan told me my PNG for this semester. I got 3.86. A 0.3 increase from the previous semester. Awesome.
My new roommates are Huda, Lydia and Nadia. We’re okay.
Okay, I think I put in quite a lot for one post. My hands are aching already. Time to sleep! Goodnight everyone.
Isn’t it amazing to see how people can change in such a short time?
I was a loner two years ago. I didn’t mix in that much, I prefer to go by myself. I wasn’t that close to my classmates, I prefer 1 or 2 close friends. It feels so good to be detached from the world. The world doesn’t know me, and it feels wonderful to be the mysterious guy in the scene.
When I look back, I seemed pretty sad. I thought I was being strong at that time. I don’t know. Perhaps I was.
Two years later, I re-emerge with a ton of friends by my side. Yup, that’s right. I am now very close to my classmates. I gave up my lonely life, my almost-boyfriend, my selfishness and my old friends who had a strong power over me. You just gotta let some things go. But for my new friends, I’d do anything in the world for them.
Two years ago, I travelled to Aussie. I brought back a few souvenirs for my few friends.
Tomorrow I’m leaving for New Zealand. And I’m bringing back as many souvenirs as I can carry.
See you in 10 days =)
I don’t need an army to tell me I’m being selfish right now.
I just can’t stand the thought of not seeing my parents before I go back to school, you know? Yeah, for me the world will always be about airports and planes, glitter in my music, my very purple crocs and my very very sweet home.
And yes, I was relieved when Anis told me she forgot to tell her mum to buy me a ticket back to Johor. And yes, I begged Mum and Dad to let me stay at home for three more days. And YES, I let Kaklong and Abg Long took me to a clinic to make a fake mc.
Does that make me a bad person?
I just can’t focus in school right now, I have no idea why. Somehow, I’ve lost that spirit that reminds me I am finishing school in 10 months time. I’ve lost the confidence that I can really make it through high school. And worst of all, I’ve lost my interest in all of my best subjects!
I am a mentor in Add Maths and Modern Maths. Heck yeah, I know it’s no Calculus or whatever, but its the toughest yet for my level. And getting to be one of the very few mentors meant a lot. I am one of the very few students who can maintain her straight As in all of the scientific subjects. I am one of the EMCs, an elite club at my school.
So yeah, I have a lot of responsibilities.
So I bet my friends are wondering what in the world am I doing at home.
I don’t know. I don’t have an answer to that myself.
I don’t wanna be thought of as the study geek in class. Or the city girl who got stuck in the country. Or the teacher’s pet. God, I hate that.
I just wanna take a break from my duties for a while, away from the people who helped build my life and just be alone for a moment.
I wanna do the things that I really like. Reading. Playing video games. Baking. Watching TV. Shopping.
Oh boy, I can’t wait to drive.
I made chinese fried rice for me and Nana this afternoon. I vacuumed and mopped the floors in the kitchen and living room coz I can’t stand the smell of the barbeque the other night. I went grocery shopping with Kakngah yesterday.
It feels kinda nice to be looking after the house. You know, make sure it doesn’t burn down or something.
and so here I am just lazingaround at Dad’s computer waiting for my other sisters to wake up.
*
I got up and went downstairs, when I paused midway at the stairs because I heard Ameer.
Had bfast, table cleared and ran up the stairs two at a time. burst into the room, fully expecting Nana to emerge from the toilet, fully awake. Instead, I am greeted with a slightly plump like yours truly18 year old girl sprawled on her bed, dozing and snoring as if there were no tomorrow.
snapping pics with the tour guide in Hong Kong
happy bday to me,
happy bday to me,
happy bday to maaaryyyyy,
happy bday to ME
God, I love it when they sing for me. Then again, who doesn’t?
This year’s bday has proven to be a LOT better than before. I’ve always dreaded my bday when I’m at school coz not many remembers it and I’ll be dissapointed.
So, to ease off the soon-to-be dissapointment, I asked Wana to be the emcee on my bday just so I could run away from the crowd.
Surprisingly enough, Wana announced it was my bday in front of the ENTIRE student body! I could never forget that moment; me gaping at Wana like an idiot as everyone begin to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ for me. And I loved every minute of it.
Especially when he smiled his adorable grin in amusement. But shhh..let’s not get onto that topic =)
There were a lot more surprises after that, cards mysteriously popping up under my table, bday greetings from my juniors and so on.
At first, I was kinda sad that Dunkin didn’t utter a word. Possibly he forgot. Or maybe he’s too busy with the trials and suddenly decided I don’t exist anymore.
But then I figured, what the heck. He doesn’t exist anymore to me either, it’s all a shadowy memory of the past waiting to be forgotten.
So I put on my biggest smile, and I turned to my friends. I said my thank-you’s and caught his eye at the same time. He smiled again and my breath caught in my throat. I felt an even bigger smile tugging at my lips and I turned away before he could see=) God, I love it when he smiles at me
Pics? I’ll upload them later. Right now I gotta catch Muffin and Cocoa!
I have never expected that until this hour my classmate Tiara has packed her bags and left us forever.
I wasn’t that close to her but I was close enough to know that she is a very friendly person. I would sometimes tease her for her eating-a-lot-and-never-getting-an-inch-fatter ability.
She was very kind and attractive too, I daresay. Just before the holidays she told us to send in our work for the school magazine when the break is over. Its no wonder now how I always thought of her as I surfed the Internet looking for something worthy of sending.
Its true what the old folks say, "You don’t realise how much you love that person until they are gone"
I didn’t expect that I would be typing this blog entry for her. Maybe I expected that she will always be there, no matter what. I didn’t expect I’d be calling Hanie and waited for her to explain to me as a I cried silently. Maybe I didn’t expect that I would cry . I haven’t done that in years.
I just didn’t expect THIS would happen, you know?
It’s such a huge shock to me and my friends. She was just crowned as an LDP before the school break.
As much as my ‘I didn’t expects’ , I’m sure everyone felt what I had.
Al-Fatihah
I’m through.
Sometimes I wonder why I held on for so long. One and a half year, to be exact. Isn’t that long enough to get over someone?
Not for me, I suppose.
He’s an idiot, why is it so hard for me to see that? Why do I keep on believing that his heart is in the right place, despite all the negative remarks I’ve been getting from everyone?
He’s throwing his life away. And I don’t mean that only because he doesn’t take his studies seriously. He skipped classes whenever he hasn’t finished his homework; he smoked, for God’s sake. He’s one hell of a loser.
He’s the kind of guy I would loathe to see hanging around at the marketplace, with a cigarette between his slim fingers. He’s the kind of guy who spends his whole life devoted to his cell phone waiting for text messages from the ladies.
Long story short,
I HATE GUYS LIKE HIM.
I’m not just saying because I’m so perfect myself. No, I never said that. But at least I have my pride and dignity that I am not, I repeat, NOT gonna throw away.
Phew.
I’ve been home for almost two weeks and the holidays are ending. When I finally get to blog, I write about him.
Man, do I suck, or what?
Bummer.
So I didn’t get Jasin. All because of one small technical error.
So my two best friends got it. And everyone’s coming up to me to say congrats coz they thought I got it too. And when I put them right, looks of utter sympathy are written all over their faces. I turn and walk away before I start screaming.
But of course, I don’t. Scream, I mean. I have to be in control.
Total control.
Everytime people start talking bout it, I tuned out instantly and tried to focus on something else. A loose thread on my shirt. A cloud rolling away in the sky playing Tag with the birds. I tried not to think about my feet that went cold all of a sudden. How the heat creeps up my neck. And wishing that the annoying stinging at the back of my eyes will go away.
My legs feel so heavy. A rock band is having a concert in my brain. The emptiness of my stomach. My fingers trembling slightly from hunger. I know I should eat something. God, I’m so exhausted.
I want to go home quickly. Just so I can run away from my friends’ pitying looks. I can’t stand people feeling sorry for me. Even my friend A start talking bout how much she’ll miss me. The truth is, I don’t think she will. But let’s not get into that.
Thanks to my determination not to let my tears fall in public, my friends now think I’m the most difficult person to cry. It’s not like that. My tears are racing to spill, but I won’t let them. It’s all a matter of will. I don’t want to let my guard down.
You might think it’s ridiculous. What’s wrong with a little crying every once in a while? The last time I cried was when my cat died. But that’s different. She was family. And preggers.
I know I’m not weak. I can survive. I can make it all work
So what now?
